Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Will it end or will I end, That is the question

First of all, my cancer check was yesterday and so far so good. The docs are watching the same two areas, a spot on my liver and a spot on my lungs. So I will have to do the fun CT scan with the lovely berry contrast in June. I did come across an unusual thing this time with drinking the beverage, it tastes better with a swig of coke right after I finish the portion of contrast I have to swallow every 20 minutes. I've said this before too. it is starting to taste good, like I'm not even noticing the bad after taste. Scary huh!
I also was way hypertensive with a BP of 153/96 when the nurse first took my BP and a slight temp of 99.1, (which is high for me since I normally run 97.9). So the doc sat with us for a while to see if we could get my BP under control. But, when she walked out with us and stood there making sure the BP would be better, I kind of knew that it probably wouldn't, since my knee was acting up so bad by then that my pain level was between a 9 and 10. The new reading was 147/114 , she felt like it was the pain that was causing the high BP, since I have no history of hypertension.
Well, now the knee, leg whatever you want to call it. I am now beyond the patience level of it. The pain is now worse than before. Yesterday, it literally took me down to the ground 3 times. When I am out in public I use crutches and/or wheelchairs. At home I'm not as religous about it,but I'm not going around doing housework like I would like, actually, between Chad and Kaitlyn yelling at me to stop walking around and doing stuff, (which doesn't happen that often, the walking stuff) my life is pretty boring. Go to work, sit, go home, pj's on bed, ice 9x out of 10, dinner is made for me, cleanup is done for me. Sometimes, I'm lucky and get to go to Wally world or Sam's, but I'm in a wheel chair. And even with all of this for the past 7 weeks my leg is still not getting better. I try every once in a while to walk around or go without the walking devices and then I end up paying for it for several days, worse than using them.
I hope that none of you who read this blog have pain like this. This is going on for 8 months and it has kicked my tooty. You find so many reasons of not keep going when all you want is relief. Even one full day without pain would do the whole head good. I have been blessed with lot's of great people around me, especially Chad and Kait. They have been the most awesome, from making meals to driving me when I can't drive, to just sitting on the bed with me for hours talking or watching tv. My support from my ward family has been truely humbling. I'm the activities chair and we have a big ward brunch this Saturday, I have only two people on my committee 1 inactive, 1 works on saturday, but yet people in the ward have offered to help with every aspect of the brunch. I delagated and more have asked to help more. What a wonderful church I have, where people are so willing to help and most barely know me.
We are so excited next week to have Amy's wedding next week. Chuck is such an awesome guy and we are so proud of both of their accomplishments. We can's wait. We will have more kids in Utah, YEAH!!!!!!!!
One more fun positive point is, we almost have our bathroom remodel finished. I love handy men. GO Greg, Chad and Brett.